I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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