she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
