His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
