I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
