sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When are your genitals available?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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