Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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