I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
