so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
