he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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