it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
