the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize