just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize