Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
