Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
