Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
