Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
