Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
