She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
