the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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