my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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