how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
