im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
