For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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