Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize