An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
