she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
