we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize