Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think my mom watched the whole time
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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