I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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