i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
soo... how was my night?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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