i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
