woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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