Pappa wants mamma naked
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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