ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
