You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
