Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
