Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
