If you die in college, do you die in real life?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize