I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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