That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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