I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
