If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
