Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
