The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
