Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I skipped work to stalk him.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
