What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
