Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
