I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
