suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
