are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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