Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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