We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
