I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize