I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
