She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
God, I missed his penis.
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