Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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