You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
