I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
