Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
