this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
