my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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